Let's start by holding the hammer correctly. You don't choke it. Don't grab it by the neck and start "tapping" a nail. Nothing says "I have no idea what I am doing!" like using a hammer this way.
To properly hold the hammer, grab it near the end of its handle. Get used to the feel. Swing it loosely in your hand. A well-made hammer will have a nice balance to it and a little sweep in the end of the handle to help hold on.
Once you have the hammer held by the end of the handle, you're ready to swing.

